Always Forward, Rarely Straight

25 09 2012

So I was living the dream, 70 pounds down, plant based diet, feeling healthier and full if energy – then vacation time came. After making the proclamation here that I would not allow vacation to derail me as it has done to so many others – it did. Day one of vacation started with pancakes, bacon and sausage and I never looked back. And a week spiraled into two months of eating a lot more of what I hadn’t been. The last time I looked at a scale I had gained back 12 pounds.

How does it happen? How do human beings that are so focused on a goal slip up like that and completely fall apart? For me, I was frustrated. I was tired of feeling like I was depriving myself and barely seeing the needle on the scale move. It was frustrating to go to my acupuncture appointments and pay hundreds of dollars and see that I lost .4 pounds that week when I knew how hard I was working to lose more. Some weeks, I was even slightly up. So despite the tremendous physical benefits I was feeling from acupuncture, I stopped going all together.

And same was the fate of this blog…checking in weekly to give the weight loss report – I’m just not wired that way. The self imposed “foot on the neck” approach does not yield lasting results for me. I need to have a more gentler setup.

In the past several weeks, I’ve felt a whole lot less full of vigor. I started to feel like how I felt a year ago right before I got sick. I’ve recently been eating an 80% raw diet of uncooked fruits,veggies and nuts in an effort to get back on track. I’ll be frank, I have no idea of what the future game plan is here. I’m just trying to figure out what works for me. Mostly plant based / mostly raw feels good but I’m just not sure if I have the strength or will to limit all food intake to that – at least for the moment.

I’m thankful to the many people who wrote me to see if all was okay or to ask what happened to the blog. It would have been interesting to blog during this two months “in the wilderness” but I just didn’t have it in me. I needed to hit the reset button and clear my mind. I feel like I’m in a better space now.

So for those still checking in, thanks so much. Here we go again…always forward, rarely straight….





7 Pounds Lost in 5 Days

13 06 2012

And so begins week 25 of my switch to a (mostly) plant based diet with increased exercise in an attempt to lose weight and get healthy. After 6 months, I’m down nearly 70 pounds. The last month or so has been a terrible struggle for me. I went off the rails for a little while and at one point gained about 11 pounds before shedding most of it. But the gaining can happen so quickly and the shedding is an awful lot harder. What I can gain in a few days, takes weeks to take off again. And a lot of the time what further complicates things is that I’m just not disciplined enough. I’m spread very thin with work, family and other endeavors and I don’t make enough time to exercise. I’m working at getting better with this.

Lately I’ve been trying acupuncture as a way to help get me through this plateau that I’ve been stuck on. I’ve also been incorporating some Chinese root tea and other medicinal supplements. It all tastes like dirt and bark to me but I’ve managed to lose 7 pounds in 5 days following the prescribed regiment – on my doctor’s scale anyway. That’s a whole separate issue. How the doc’s scale can vary so much from mine is a great and frustrating mystery to me. But as long as both scales are moving in the same direction, I’m happy.

My acupuncture sessions have been amazing. Despite often having a very unquiet mind at the start of the sessions, by the end I am in a near dream state. I really feel like these sessions take me places. I’m talking otherworldly here. Maybe they are just taking me deeper inside my self. Either way they are fantastically peaceful. During my last session, I felt energy traveling up and down my legs and through my gut. It was amazing. I felt like a living energy super highway. That’s not overstating the feeling either. I guess it is my energy meridians opening up. Really an amazing experience. This is how the healing begins. I’m so very excited for what the future holds in store for me on this journey.





Gettin RAW!

12 05 2012

Woke up this morning while having a dream that I could noticeably feel the difference in gut size. I was literally feeling smaller in my dream. This is how I know things are moving in the right direction lately. My body and my mind know that the weight is dropping again. It feels good to be back on track. My body and mind are telling me that I’m on my way now.

It seems like the more weight I drop, the longer the plateaus. It can be discouraging when you are in the midst of it. It’s all good though, I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve read that the more gradual the weight loss the better the chances for maintaining that loss.

Interesting day on tap today. In a few hours, I’ll be on my way to check this out:

Since I made the switch to plant based, I’ve been gaining an interest in Raw foods. It appeals to me. I’m sure at some point, I will give it a spin. It’s like the evolution of what i’m already doing. i’m not sure about how long I’ll be able to sustain it but it would definitly be good to incorporate as many raw foods into my diet as I can. This is the way our ancient ancestors ate. Our body was built to run perfectly on this stuff. I look forward to getting an education today and deepening my understanding of a Raw food diet, juicing and other health and nutrition related topics.

Later I’ll be taking my daughter to see the new Avengers movie in 3D on an IMAX screen. I’m equally looking forward to that! At nearly 37 years old, I still love my super heroes!

Enjoy your day and whatever you have planned! Even if it’s just staying put. Relaxing is important too! Sometimes I need to remind myself about the importance of relaxing. Whatever you are up to, make it a good one!





Dreaming While Awake

28 04 2012

“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”
– T.E. Lawrence

I know i’ve posted this quote before but I love it. This is what it boils down to, isn’t it? We all have dreams. The people who are successful are the ones who take undeterred steps to see them become reality. It starts with only one step followed by another and another. It can start today.

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We Are The Masters of Our Fate

12 04 2012

Last night I watched the PBS documentary “Being Elmo” about puppeteer Kevin Clash and his lifelong dream to work for Jim Henson. While I admit that I like nearly every other Muppet on the face of planet more than I like Elmo, the movie was absolutely riveting. Because It isn’t about puppeteering as much as it is about one man’s dream and what he does to see it become a reality. It’s about all the sacrifices that are made along the way so that the dream can come to fruition. This is what I found so interesting about this movie: it’s one man’s single focused approach of going against the odds to do what he feels he is destined to do. I so admire that sort of drive in people. I can relate to it but I cannot claim to possess it. I’m much too scattered in many different projects. But when I see someone so intently focused on one single goal, it truly amazes me.

This movie could have been about growing an award winning sized pumpkin or winning a spelling bee or a chess championship. It could have been about anything because the common thread in all of those stories is that there are seemingly average people in the world who do absolutely amazing things. This is a result of them having the innate ability to dream a big dream while awake and then take steps to make sure it comes true. I’m a big believer in everything being possible with enough effort. I believe in wanting something bad enough to not let failure deter you. The people who are not afraid to dream and then are steadfast in the steps they take to see it through do eventually obtain their dreams. The biggest limits to obtaining our dreams are ourselves. People willing to sacrifice sleep, social lives and other comforts in order to not miss out when opportunity comes knocking are ultimately the people who most often succeed.

What have you been dreaming about? What’s holding you back? You can begin taking steps today to make your dream a reality. You can do it but you have to want it. You have to want it more than anything you’ve ever wanted. You have to be willing to sacrifice for it. You have to be willing to take some lumps. You have to be willing to fall down and pick yourself up and try again – sometimes over and over until you get it right.

The world is our oyster. We are the masters of our own fates. Our dreams, our realities, our futures – they are in our hands. Everyday we get closer or farther from them. The choice is ultimately ours.





Come Fly With Me

4 04 2012

The mind/body connection is an amazing thing. For years now I’ve had dreams where the floor below me crumbles under my weight, where the path is not easy to navigate due to my size or where I must use physical strength that I’m not sure that I possess any longer to overcome a treacherous landscape. In my dreams people have gawked and stared at my size. Sometimes they have made comments under their breath and other times they have just come right out and said horrible things about my weight.

It’s frustrating when the nightmares of the waking hour haunt you in your sleep. And yet for some reason, I was too paralyzed to make the necessary changes during those waking hours to really improve my situation. Sometimes I would try but I quickly met with failure. The light switch in my brain had not been flipped yet. I was only going through the motions and was not fully engaged or committed to being my better self. I was a self-imposed prisoner in an ever-growing body.

This morning right before waking I had a dream where I was thinner. Not completely thin but at least thinner than I have been in most of my other dreams. I was thinner and I was flying. Sort of. Not really flying like Superman but more like the movie “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”. Sort of like levitating while in a forward motion. I would shuffle my feet quickly and I began to leave the ground. I then started bicycling my legs and I got a little higher off the ground all the while moving forward. Maybe I got as high as 6 or 7 feet towards the end. These episodes of weightlessness would last for durations of what seemed like 5-20 seconds. When I landed I said to those unrecognizable faces around me “I’ve always been able to do this, I just didn’t know how until now.” Then I awoke.

It’s freeing to be able to fly in a dream. To feel like you are light enough to leave the ground. To let go of the weight of the things that hold you down. To be able to propel yourself forward from the things that hold you back.

For two weeks my weight has pretty much stayed steady. It’s gone up some days and gone down others but it hasn’t dropped to a new low. Today that changed and my sleeping mind knew it before my scale did. Again, the mind/body connection at work.

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”
– T.E. Lawrence

What do you dare to dream today? What do you dare to dream for your life? Flip the switch in your brain that tells you “no”, the one that says you are a failure. This is where all roadblocks come from. Flip that switch. Make up your mind one final time to “get all in” and take a step. The most important step. The step that needs to be taken for any race to be won. The first step. Take that step and come fly with us, the dreamers who dream with eyes wide open.





Time Weights For No One

16 02 2012

Picked up the phone tonight and ordered a pair of Bowflex adjustable dumbbells.  It’s been 15 long years since I’ve seriously lifted weights but I’ve been wanting to begin again for some time now. I used to be really into weight lifting.  In my freshman year of college, I was able to bench press over 600 pounds (one time and only one time).  In high school, I leg pressed over 1000 pounds 31 times consecutively which was a record there.  There was a plaque on the wall in the school gym commemorating it. When I returned 7 years later, the record was still mine. The stupid things we do for glory. I didn’t walk right for days after that.

From 8th grade through sophomore year of college, I was constantly in the gym and I saw fantastic results come from my hard work.  But as college progressed, lifting was eventually replaced by partying and hanging out and I just lost the drive to drag my ass to the gym 5 days a week. A body at rest really does tend to stay at rest and so it has been.

I’m excited to get back to lifting. I don’t want to hulk up as much as I want to get cut. Cardio is boring me to tears and although I know it is very important, this will be a nice change. In a few months, I might take up swimming again as that is something I’m good at and enjoy doing. But for now, I’m going to really get an intense lifting regiment going. ‘

A friend sent me this next video and it really inspired me.  It really is the recipe for success.  In other facets of my life where I have seen success I recognize that this formula works. No matter if it is lifting weights, training for a race, excelling in a professional career or just being your very best self – the formula for making huge strides really is maximizing your performance in the limited time you have.  Time can be our greatest enemy if we don’t take advantage of it. If we use it wisely and recognize that time is fleeting, it can be our most powerful alley.  I hope this video inspires others the way it did me.  

What is your dream?  What is holding you back? Despite tons of excuses, I was the one holding myself back. I let a lot of time just slip away. That is going to change now.









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