Pushing Forward

2 07 2012


I’m in the midst of a 5 day challenge…cut my portions by a 1/3rd and exercise like a champ. This weekend I went a bit off the rails. Ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream last night. Stupid for sure, but it’s the first time I’ve done it in months and months.

I’ve decided that I’ll be going back to the doctor for a full blood workup and physical by mid-September. That will be about exactly a year since I got sick. Good motivation to stay on the straight and narrow. I’m totally despise going to the doctor but it will be good to see where my numbers are at and if my general help has improved.

Progress has been slow but I’m in this to win this. I will absolutely get there!

Make Something Happen!

6 05 2012


Envision Something Different

16 04 2012

And so begins week 17 of my journey to better health through exercise and a plant based diet. This week I lost an additional 2 pounds which brings my total to 61 pounds shed in nearly 4 months. I’m starting to see that some of my bigger goals are within reach, especially life below the 300 pound mark.

I recently donated about a dozen pairs of pants because they are now too big for me. I’ve gone down several pants sizes and can barely keep the current size on. In the not too distant future I’ll be able to purchase my clothes at real stores and not specialty “big guy” clothing shops. I can’t tell you how liberating that will be. These are all big changes but sometimes the smallest of changes are the ones that really hit home for a person.

On two recent occasions I have gone out to eat and have been able to sit comfortably in a booth. This hasn’t happened in about 15 years. There was a pain associated with the dining out experience that just became so natural and engrained that I actually began to no longer recognize it. I just sort of became numb to it.

There has been a whole process with going out to eat that has been complicated and stressful for me. In the past if I was offered a booth, I’d have to ask the server for a table instead. I have a 7 year old and she wants to sit in the booth every time I take her out. So there is that whole process of trying to explain to her that it’s more comfortable for me to sit at a table. Often times this does not resonate with her and meals get off to a rocky start.

At the size that I have been, sitting at a table is no easy feat either. From the second I walk into a place, I’m on a scouting mission to find a chair that has some room around it and especially behind it. I don’t want to obstruct anyone else’s flow or make a person sitting at a nearby table feel like they don’t have enough room. It’s been a real headache but one that happens so often that the pain of it has dulled. It’s just become the reality that I have lived with – until now.

Lately I can sit comfortably in a booth. There is room between my gut and the table and it is a pleasant experience. My daughter is happy to finally be sitting in a both like a “normal” person and that makes me happy too. To be able to go out to eat like most people do is an amazing feeling.

With the way I have been living up until now, there were so many things I had taken for granted. In a lot of ways this weight loss experience feels like a slow rebirth. I’m beginning to realize again some of the simple pleasures in life (things that most people take for granted). I’m really recognizing deeply how my poor choices have limited me in the past.

How are our lives similar? Everyone has their own battlefield in life. It may not be weight. It can be anything really, whatever holds you back and prevents you from being your best self. We are all encumbered by “the weight” of something. What are our own lives trying to teach us? Can we pull ourselves from the wreckage of our past hurts? Can we become our own phoenix rising from the ashes of our past disappointments? Can we use our greatest weaknesses as rungs on a ladder and climb above all of the muck that seeks to hold us back? Can we inherit the life we were meant to live? The life that we deserve to live? I think we can. It takes just one single step followed by another and another combined with the willingness to walk into and through our fear. On the other side, something beautiful waits for us. We really can get there together.

We Are The Masters of Our Fate

12 04 2012

Last night I watched the PBS documentary “Being Elmo” about puppeteer Kevin Clash and his lifelong dream to work for Jim Henson. While I admit that I like nearly every other Muppet on the face of planet more than I like Elmo, the movie was absolutely riveting. Because It isn’t about puppeteering as much as it is about one man’s dream and what he does to see it become a reality. It’s about all the sacrifices that are made along the way so that the dream can come to fruition. This is what I found so interesting about this movie: it’s one man’s single focused approach of going against the odds to do what he feels he is destined to do. I so admire that sort of drive in people. I can relate to it but I cannot claim to possess it. I’m much too scattered in many different projects. But when I see someone so intently focused on one single goal, it truly amazes me.

This movie could have been about growing an award winning sized pumpkin or winning a spelling bee or a chess championship. It could have been about anything because the common thread in all of those stories is that there are seemingly average people in the world who do absolutely amazing things. This is a result of them having the innate ability to dream a big dream while awake and then take steps to make sure it comes true. I’m a big believer in everything being possible with enough effort. I believe in wanting something bad enough to not let failure deter you. The people who are not afraid to dream and then are steadfast in the steps they take to see it through do eventually obtain their dreams. The biggest limits to obtaining our dreams are ourselves. People willing to sacrifice sleep, social lives and other comforts in order to not miss out when opportunity comes knocking are ultimately the people who most often succeed.

What have you been dreaming about? What’s holding you back? You can begin taking steps today to make your dream a reality. You can do it but you have to want it. You have to want it more than anything you’ve ever wanted. You have to be willing to sacrifice for it. You have to be willing to take some lumps. You have to be willing to fall down and pick yourself up and try again – sometimes over and over until you get it right.

The world is our oyster. We are the masters of our own fates. Our dreams, our realities, our futures – they are in our hands. Everyday we get closer or farther from them. The choice is ultimately ours.

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