Always Forward, Rarely Straight

25 09 2012

So I was living the dream, 70 pounds down, plant based diet, feeling healthier and full if energy – then vacation time came. After making the proclamation here that I would not allow vacation to derail me as it has done to so many others – it did. Day one of vacation started with pancakes, bacon and sausage and I never looked back. And a week spiraled into two months of eating a lot more of what I hadn’t been. The last time I looked at a scale I had gained back 12 pounds.

How does it happen? How do human beings that are so focused on a goal slip up like that and completely fall apart? For me, I was frustrated. I was tired of feeling like I was depriving myself and barely seeing the needle on the scale move. It was frustrating to go to my acupuncture appointments and pay hundreds of dollars and see that I lost .4 pounds that week when I knew how hard I was working to lose more. Some weeks, I was even slightly up. So despite the tremendous physical benefits I was feeling from acupuncture, I stopped going all together.

And same was the fate of this blog…checking in weekly to give the weight loss report – I’m just not wired that way. The self imposed “foot on the neck” approach does not yield lasting results for me. I need to have a more gentler setup.

In the past several weeks, I’ve felt a whole lot less full of vigor. I started to feel like how I felt a year ago right before I got sick. I’ve recently been eating an 80% raw diet of uncooked fruits,veggies and nuts in an effort to get back on track. I’ll be frank, I have no idea of what the future game plan is here. I’m just trying to figure out what works for me. Mostly plant based / mostly raw feels good but I’m just not sure if I have the strength or will to limit all food intake to that – at least for the moment.

I’m thankful to the many people who wrote me to see if all was okay or to ask what happened to the blog. It would have been interesting to blog during this two months “in the wilderness” but I just didn’t have it in me. I needed to hit the reset button and clear my mind. I feel like I’m in a better space now.

So for those still checking in, thanks so much. Here we go again…always forward, rarely straight….





Some Food for Thought

18 07 2012

I’m on a much needed vacation. I probably should be doing more with the blog this week because I finally have the time. But reading comic books and enjoying the kids is winning out.

Its been harder than I thought to stick to a plant based diet on vacation. For starters I have mysteriously grown an affinity for pancakes as I’ve had them for two out of three of the last breakfasts. Not going to help things with the scale. I did have a fantastic tofu veggie stir-fry the first night here. I’m looking forward to possibly getting that again before vacation is through.

The heat is oppressive. It’s really putting a crimp in my plans to do a lot of walking. Every year it seems to work out this way lately. Thank God there is no such thing as global warming! It’s a total fluke that the last 16 out of 17 have been the hottest on record or that 6,000+ new records have been set in the United States this year. Yet we still argue about what causes it. It would be nice if we could just all agree that something funky is going on. Who cares if its manmade or a cycle or a bit of both- its like arguing about how you got cancer. Why can’t we just agree that something needs to be done to save the place where we live? Now I’m getting fired up! Time to get back to vacation!

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The Weighting Game

27 06 2012

Okay scale, I don’t like you and you don’t like me either so let’s get one thing straight – I need to have dropped some weight by my next acupuncture appointment on Friday. I refuse to go two weeks in a row with weight gain even if it is just a pound or so. I’ve been jerking around with the same few pounds for over a month. Now this weight has to begin to drop again. I’m eating right, I’m eating less, I’ll be on the treadmill, lifting and doing yoga. I will make more time for better self-care. I will make time to get enough rest. I can do this. We can do this together. We can become friends again, can’t we? Two more days to go. Let’s make a deal. I’ll work hard and you be gentle…okay??





Finding the Balance

15 06 2012

A pretty good week so far on the health front. Maybe after 6 months I’m finally starting to find some balance. The acupuncture sessions are reminding me that making the time for selfcare is so important and vitally necessary. I have my third session today and I’m eager to see what their scale says. My scale here is looking good.

I’ve been juicing during the morning lately. I love this Vitamix. It was an expensive investment that was really worth it. For starters, all of the pulp and fiber that a traditional juicer would expel, the Vitamix blends right into your drink. These are important vitamins and nutrients. Why let them go to waste.

Juicing gives me a chance to be creative with the ingredients I use and about 95% of the time I enjoy what I’m making. Yesterday I had blueberry and kale juice (with apple and orange). Kale has almost no taste when juiced and is one of the most vitamin packed, nutrient rich foods you can eat. Earlier in the week I had strawberry dandelion juice (with apple, orange and sweet lettuce) which is actually a near perfect combo. Dandelion is very good for your blood but can often be bitter. It is definitely an acquired taste. I find that the strawberries compliment the taste without totally masking it. The morning berry intake is very important. Recent studies indicate that just a half cup of berries a week helps to keep our brains sharp. This is an easy way to get your daily antioxidant intake boosted!

I’ve kicked up the exercise regiment a bit this week as well. I still need to be exercising more and this will likely continue to be a stumbling block for me for some time but I will keep working at it. Losing weight is a process. I know that I’d be further along in this journey if I exercised more.

Posts here at Johnnysized have been more sporadic lately. I try for 5 posts a week but lately it’s been less. I don’t want folks to think I’m falling off. If anything I am more engaged than ever. I’ve just had a lot of sticks in the fire recently. My photography gigs have been increasing and photo editing is extremely time consuming. I have some interesting things going on musically with my band’s second album nearing completion.

There is also this web series coming out on June 30th. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m getting my feet wet in the world of acting. I’m playing the part of a legbreaker. Give it a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwNcwmEO6-o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

More info at www.mobontherun.com





Come Fly With Me

4 04 2012

The mind/body connection is an amazing thing. For years now I’ve had dreams where the floor below me crumbles under my weight, where the path is not easy to navigate due to my size or where I must use physical strength that I’m not sure that I possess any longer to overcome a treacherous landscape. In my dreams people have gawked and stared at my size. Sometimes they have made comments under their breath and other times they have just come right out and said horrible things about my weight.

It’s frustrating when the nightmares of the waking hour haunt you in your sleep. And yet for some reason, I was too paralyzed to make the necessary changes during those waking hours to really improve my situation. Sometimes I would try but I quickly met with failure. The light switch in my brain had not been flipped yet. I was only going through the motions and was not fully engaged or committed to being my better self. I was a self-imposed prisoner in an ever-growing body.

This morning right before waking I had a dream where I was thinner. Not completely thin but at least thinner than I have been in most of my other dreams. I was thinner and I was flying. Sort of. Not really flying like Superman but more like the movie “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”. Sort of like levitating while in a forward motion. I would shuffle my feet quickly and I began to leave the ground. I then started bicycling my legs and I got a little higher off the ground all the while moving forward. Maybe I got as high as 6 or 7 feet towards the end. These episodes of weightlessness would last for durations of what seemed like 5-20 seconds. When I landed I said to those unrecognizable faces around me “I’ve always been able to do this, I just didn’t know how until now.” Then I awoke.

It’s freeing to be able to fly in a dream. To feel like you are light enough to leave the ground. To let go of the weight of the things that hold you down. To be able to propel yourself forward from the things that hold you back.

For two weeks my weight has pretty much stayed steady. It’s gone up some days and gone down others but it hasn’t dropped to a new low. Today that changed and my sleeping mind knew it before my scale did. Again, the mind/body connection at work.

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”
– T.E. Lawrence

What do you dare to dream today? What do you dare to dream for your life? Flip the switch in your brain that tells you “no”, the one that says you are a failure. This is where all roadblocks come from. Flip that switch. Make up your mind one final time to “get all in” and take a step. The most important step. The step that needs to be taken for any race to be won. The first step. Take that step and come fly with us, the dreamers who dream with eyes wide open.





Success is NOT a Straight Line

2 04 2012

And so begins week 15 of my switch to a plant based diet and a healthier lifestyle.  For the first time since starting this journey to better health, my weight flatlined this week and the needle on the scale did not move.  I’m not really sure why as I did not over eat.  I actually spent most of the week feeling unsatisfied and not full which is a discouraging thing when you trying to lose weight.  The body is smart and when it feels like this, it believes there is a shortage of food and tries its best to hang on to what you have.  It wasn’t until last night when I ate stuffed peppers that I actually felt fully content afterwards.  This was a heavier meal than I typically like to eat prior to the day of a weigh in.

Last week, I passed up the most tempting chocolate mousse cake at work along with bagels and cream cheese.  I visited my grandparents and passed up wonderful italian bread, prosciutto (which I love) and hard provolone cheese.  I hit the weights, I stayed active.  I  really stuck to eating mostly veggies and legumes. I did mostly  everything right and at the end of the week, I still came up short.  I can live with it though.

The things we most want in life, shouldn’t come easy.  As much as we hate it to be, getting there should be difficult.  Achieving what we desire should be a struggle so that when we finally have what we want in our grasp, we can truly appreciate, cherish and savor it. – for the rest of our lives.

I don’t feel depressed.  I feel a little angry.  I definitely feel inspired.  I feel ready to kick it up a notch and get what is mine.





50 Pounds Down!

8 03 2012

Finally hit the 50 pounds of weight loss mark yesterday.  The last 10 pounds were shed a lot slower than the first 40 but that is to be expected.  The next 50 will be harder but also easier than the 50 pounds that comes after that.  I’m going to get there eventually.

So what did I do after achieving my mini goal?  I rewarded myself with Taco Bell.  I actually used food as a reward.  This is the sort of thinking that got me into the predicament of needing to lose so much weight to begin with.  Old habits really do die hard.

If I was going to have meat, it would have been smarter to actually eat something more authentic than whatever it is that passes for meat these days at Taco Bell.  In the end it wasn’t so good and I felt disappointed with myself (and a little bit sick to my stomach) when it was over.  The scale remained kind to me this morning though, which I was very thankful for.

Today it was back to vegetables.  Wraps with broccoli rabe, bok choy, squash, onions, mushrooms and mustard sprouts!  And they honestly tasted better than my Taco Bell binge last night.  It’s okay to fall once in a blue moon as long as we pick ourselves up and get back on the road to wellness.  Getting it out of my system may not have been the worst thing for me.  I had a craving and now I see that I really wasn’t missing much.

Beautiful “Graffiti Eggplants” found in my local produce aisle!








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