Eulogy

Let me live among passionate people! It doesn’t matter if its a passion to make it as an actor, get a promotion or land a dream job. Maybe its a passion to become a renowned photographer, grow the largest tomatoes or to be the best at Parcheesi. It doesn’t matter what it is, the drive is the exact same.

Let me be around people who enjoy life. People who savor each and every moment. People who reach to obtain the seemingly unattainable. People who are perpetually on fire with excitement.

Let me be near strong, resilient people so that when I fall they will be there to remind me that I have to pick myself up and get back on track. Let me know people brave enough to walk through the fear and the pain in their lives. People who persevere long after the rest of us would pack it in. People who have the physical and emotional scars of life but recognize that in these experiences they have discovered their strength.

Let me know emotional people who truly “feel” life. Let me know men who can cry. People who can connect and empathize. Let them be close at hand for the times when I find myself disconnecting from life around me. For the times when I feel disconnected from myself.

When I check out, I want to know that I did a little bit of everything and that I did it as well as I was able. That I put pieces of me into everything I did and that I did it with pride and passion and love. That I butted up against every wall in front of me and tried my best to break through. That the times I met wih failure, I learned from it and did not give up. That time and time again, I surpassed my own expectations which I had set for myself. That in obtaining what I had sought, I appreciated it fully but was only momentarily complacent – wanting to strive further. That my life was interesting to me. That I lived the life I wanted to live and not the one that others expected I should live. That I had a little bit of passion in every aspect of it. That I did some good while I was here while minimizing harm to others. That when I did harm, people found it in themselves to forgive me. That those who truly knew me, didn’t judge me but saw me for the person I was. That I was able to see others in this same way. That I saw things not in black and white but in shades of grey.

Life is hard and its short. I just want to be able to say when my spirit separates from my body that I took the life that was given to me and I used it to its fullest. That for all of the times that I pissed my time away, there were more instances where I used it for something worthwhile. That after some years of stagnation, I finally stood up and inherited my destiny. That I actually LIVED.

Then I will rest peacefully.

I See You But I Don’t Know Who You Are

Tonight I will be attending the Best of the Valley Blog Awards for Northeastern Pennsylvania. It’s exciting to see that this little labor of love which is only a couple of months old snagged three separate nominations. I don’t expect to win anything but it really is an honor to be recognized alongside my peers, many of which I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for.

Events like this always cause me anxiety. In the past, I would try to pick a seat I could fit in comfortably although that is becoming less of a worry as my journey chugs along and I continue to lose weight. The other issue that I don’t talk about much is that I am face blind. Face blindness is the inability to recognize faces, even those I see semi-regularly. Sure I know my family, my friends and my every day co-workers but I’ve seen neighbors that live next to me in local stores and have been afraid to walk up to them for fear that it might not be them. In fact I still can’t say for sure if it was them or not. I’ve had co-workers from other offices that I used to work with daily who get bent out of shape if I see them outside of work and don’t acknowledge them. I’m sure it seems quite rude but it’s just my brains inability to recognize you. It’s nothing personal. Even watching movies or programs on television is a nightmare. If there are multiple people with the same hair color or style, I am done for. I cannot distinguish any of the top stars from each other. In my daily life I end up focusing on hair, distinguishing features, body movement and mannerisms to help me determine if someone is who I believe they might be. This often leads me to feel more socially awkward than I already am.

I used to think this was a normal experience for everyone but in recent years I have come to learn that it is an actual phenomena that1 in 50 people suffer from some form of. Some people can not recognize their own children. I’m lucky as my symptoms are not that severe.

So if you see me out and about and I don’t acknowledge you or I seem perplexed, just reintroduce yourself. I know it’s weird but it is what it is.

Look Within, Without and See God

I personally feel that there is a spiritual component to all things in life and this is also true for health, wellness and dieting. I’m not posting this to push my beliefs on anyone but instead because it rings very true to me. The fact that an independent catholic priest (and friend of mine) wrote it makes it that much more special. I subscribe to the idea that the Creator is not separate from us but is found in all things. When I see life this way, I feel more connected to everything around me and also to myself. I hope that this will resonate with some of you like it does for me:

———————————————–

Imagine. . . Image if all that we have been taught about the presence of God as being “in heaven,” different from us, always other than us is totally wrong? What if the incarnation is real — real like my monthly mortgage payment? What if God is totally enwrapped in us and we in God (as St. Patrick’s Breastplate suggests), now, all the time — in us and in everyone else in every circumstance and happening (including my mistakes and my hidden shames)?

What if mortal death is an awareness of this realization and a more immediate participation in this ongoing nearness? What if our dead relatives and friends and neighbors and everyone else are still with us (love is eternal), just in a different presence, but still with us? What if the Eucharist that we hold in our hands is just as much about our hands as it is the Sacred Bread?

What if we have taken the stories of Jesus “going up into heaven” and his return in glory (Matt 25) far too literally? What if the question of the “two men dressed in white garments” that we read in the first chapter of Acts is the same question asked of us: “why are you standing there looking at the sky?” (Acts 1:11)

Rev. Fr. Bill Freeman
http://www.friarjudge.org/chaplains-blog.html

Having Confidence in Our Potential: an Interview with Ven. Robina Courtin

Some days I feel like this is an amazing trip that I am on. I’m thankful for this little blog that it allows me to meet and communicate with people for whom I have a great deal of respect and admiration. This is a blessing for me in many ways and I hope it will be beneficial for you.

Back in 2000, I saw a wonderful documentary called Chasing Buddha (If you can get a hold of a copy, do yourself a favor and watch it) about a very interesting Australian born Tibetan Buddhist nun named Robina Courtin. The documentary captivated me and helped to really grow my interest in Buddhism. It told the very fascinating story of a woman who was raised Catholic and as a child was interested in becoming a Carmelite nun. In her young adulthood she trained as a classical singer. Later she had periods of time as a hippy, a socialist, an activist and eventually became very involved with prisoners’ rights, especially with those incarcerated on death row. For over thirty years now, the Venerable Robina Courtin has practiced Buddhism and travelled the world teaching. She is also the editorial director of Wisdom Publications, the editor of Mandala Magazine and the founder and former Executive Director of Liberation Prison Project. She is a well known figure in the world of Tibetan Buddhism and it was recently my extreme privilege to be able to ask her the following questions:

JS: When faced with a seemingly insurmountable task, what steps can one take to prepare themselves mentally to increase their chances of being sucessful?

V.RC: I think the main practice is to be optimistic, to really have confidence in your own potential to achieve the goals you set yourself. This is what we all need to do. In fact, it’s our lack of confidence, our identification with our problems rather than our potential that holds us all back.

JS: Is there a meditation or something we should be thinking about while we are eating?

V.RC: A good way to approach eating food is to offer it to others: this make the action very beneficial. So, before eating, imagine a big container of delicious nectar in the sky in front of you, then you just imagine all the beings of the universe, human, animal, etc., then you imagine happily offering this nectar to them and they experience the pleasure of eating it. Then you enjoy it yourself, thinking that the main reason you’re eating is so that you can be healthy so that you can be of benefit to yourself and the world. Love and courage to you.

I would like to thank Ven. Robina for taking time out of her very busy schedule to answer my questions.

Ven. Robina can be found online at: http://robinacourtin.com
Please consider supporting one of her many worthwhile projects.
More information about the Liberation Prison Project can be found here: http://www.liberationprisonproject.org/