Always Forward, Rarely Straight

So I was living the dream, 70 pounds down, plant based diet, feeling healthier and full if energy – then vacation time came. After making the proclamation here that I would not allow vacation to derail me as it has done to so many others – it did. Day one of vacation started with pancakes, bacon and sausage and I never looked back. And a week spiraled into two months of eating a lot more of what I hadn’t been. The last time I looked at a scale I had gained back 12 pounds.

How does it happen? How do human beings that are so focused on a goal slip up like that and completely fall apart? For me, I was frustrated. I was tired of feeling like I was depriving myself and barely seeing the needle on the scale move. It was frustrating to go to my acupuncture appointments and pay hundreds of dollars and see that I lost .4 pounds that week when I knew how hard I was working to lose more. Some weeks, I was even slightly up. So despite the tremendous physical benefits I was feeling from acupuncture, I stopped going all together.

And same was the fate of this blog…checking in weekly to give the weight loss report – I’m just not wired that way. The self imposed “foot on the neck” approach does not yield lasting results for me. I need to have a more gentler setup.

In the past several weeks, I’ve felt a whole lot less full of vigor. I started to feel like how I felt a year ago right before I got sick. I’ve recently been eating an 80% raw diet of uncooked fruits,veggies and nuts in an effort to get back on track. I’ll be frank, I have no idea of what the future game plan is here. I’m just trying to figure out what works for me. Mostly plant based / mostly raw feels good but I’m just not sure if I have the strength or will to limit all food intake to that – at least for the moment.

I’m thankful to the many people who wrote me to see if all was okay or to ask what happened to the blog. It would have been interesting to blog during this two months “in the wilderness” but I just didn’t have it in me. I needed to hit the reset button and clear my mind. I feel like I’m in a better space now.

So for those still checking in, thanks so much. Here we go again…always forward, rarely straight….

Some Food for Thought

I’m on a much needed vacation. I probably should be doing more with the blog this week because I finally have the time. But reading comic books and enjoying the kids is winning out.

Its been harder than I thought to stick to a plant based diet on vacation. For starters I have mysteriously grown an affinity for pancakes as I’ve had them for two out of three of the last breakfasts. Not going to help things with the scale. I did have a fantastic tofu veggie stir-fry the first night here. I’m looking forward to possibly getting that again before vacation is through.

The heat is oppressive. It’s really putting a crimp in my plans to do a lot of walking. Every year it seems to work out this way lately. Thank God there is no such thing as global warming! It’s a total fluke that the last 16 out of 17 have been the hottest on record or that 6,000+ new records have been set in the United States this year. Yet we still argue about what causes it. It would be nice if we could just all agree that something funky is going on. Who cares if its manmade or a cycle or a bit of both- its like arguing about how you got cancer. Why can’t we just agree that something needs to be done to save the place where we live? Now I’m getting fired up! Time to get back to vacation!

Hell Week

Busy couple of weeks lately. Vacation is around the corner and as usual I’m working like a dog to get everything done so I can go away and mentally be free of work. Late night stakeouts (I’m an investigator/glorified social worker) in a car is not very conducive to losing weight but the battle continues. Since beginning acupuncture treatments I’m 10 pounds down. (the pain reducing effects have been wonderful!) It’s a long, hard slog though. And frankly vacation worries me. I will need to really focus on getting my exercise in. The goal is to come home from vacation, weighing significantly less than when I left for it. We all know how difficult that can be. But at least for a week, I’ll be out of the car and out from behind a desk so I definitely feel like it will be possible.

On the Run

Treadmill every day, sometimes twice a day. Ate too much yesterday but getting back on the horse again and riding….

Trying to not let a wishbone grow where my back bone is!

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Pushing Forward

I’m in the midst of a 5 day challenge…cut my portions by a 1/3rd and exercise like a champ. This weekend I went a bit off the rails. Ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream last night. Stupid for sure, but it’s the first time I’ve done it in months and months.

I’ve decided that I’ll be going back to the doctor for a full blood workup and physical by mid-September. That will be about exactly a year since I got sick. Good motivation to stay on the straight and narrow. I’m totally despise going to the doctor but it will be good to see where my numbers are at and if my general help has improved.

Progress has been slow but I’m in this to win this. I will absolutely get there!

Hitting the Reset Button

I’ll level with you, the last two weeks haven’t been my best. I have not gone off the rails or eaten horribly or even eaten a lot but my heart has not been in it lately. I’ve just been maintaining.

I was working hard and not seeing the results that I had hoped for. Two weeks ago, I only lost a pound and for some reason that shut me down mentally. I guess it has taken me two weeks to get my head straight again.

Muhammad Ali once said “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion”.

I’ve only been going through the motions lately. There was a time when doing what I’m doing now resulted in big weight loss but not anymore. I need to find my ambition and step up my game. I need to recommit and rededicate myself every morning. I’m ready to take this to the next level now. I will keep my eye on the prize.

The Weighting Game

Okay scale, I don’t like you and you don’t like me either so let’s get one thing straight – I need to have dropped some weight by my next acupuncture appointment on Friday. I refuse to go two weeks in a row with weight gain even if it is just a pound or so. I’ve been jerking around with the same few pounds for over a month. Now this weight has to begin to drop again. I’m eating right, I’m eating less, I’ll be on the treadmill, lifting and doing yoga. I will make more time for better self-care. I will make time to get enough rest. I can do this. We can do this together. We can become friends again, can’t we? Two more days to go. Let’s make a deal. I’ll work hard and you be gentle…okay??

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Note To Self: Consistent Effort

The Yo-Yo Effect

I think I have put on and taken off the same 10 pounds three times now. I just can’t seem to break past the 70 pounds lost mark. So besides acupuncture and exercise, I’m adding a 3 day juice fast. I’m hoping that this will finally break the plateau I’ve been balancing on for a long time now. So far today though… zero weight lost but no weight gain either. There is something at least in maintaining. It may take a long time but I’m moving forward. I will not let momentary setbacks discourage me. There is something gained within the struggle that can not be gained without it.