Strength

Positive self-affirmation of the day. Need to keep saying it. Need to believe it….

Eulogy

Let me live among passionate people! It doesn’t matter if its a passion to make it as an actor, get a promotion or land a dream job. Maybe its a passion to become a renowned photographer, grow the largest tomatoes or to be the best at Parcheesi. It doesn’t matter what it is, the drive is the exact same.

Let me be around people who enjoy life. People who savor each and every moment. People who reach to obtain the seemingly unattainable. People who are perpetually on fire with excitement.

Let me be near strong, resilient people so that when I fall they will be there to remind me that I have to pick myself up and get back on track. Let me know people brave enough to walk through the fear and the pain in their lives. People who persevere long after the rest of us would pack it in. People who have the physical and emotional scars of life but recognize that in these experiences they have discovered their strength.

Let me know emotional people who truly “feel” life. Let me know men who can cry. People who can connect and empathize. Let them be close at hand for the times when I find myself disconnecting from life around me. For the times when I feel disconnected from myself.

When I check out, I want to know that I did a little bit of everything and that I did it as well as I was able. That I put pieces of me into everything I did and that I did it with pride and passion and love. That I butted up against every wall in front of me and tried my best to break through. That the times I met wih failure, I learned from it and did not give up. That time and time again, I surpassed my own expectations which I had set for myself. That in obtaining what I had sought, I appreciated it fully but was only momentarily complacent – wanting to strive further. That my life was interesting to me. That I lived the life I wanted to live and not the one that others expected I should live. That I had a little bit of passion in every aspect of it. That I did some good while I was here while minimizing harm to others. That when I did harm, people found it in themselves to forgive me. That those who truly knew me, didn’t judge me but saw me for the person I was. That I was able to see others in this same way. That I saw things not in black and white but in shades of grey.

Life is hard and its short. I just want to be able to say when my spirit separates from my body that I took the life that was given to me and I used it to its fullest. That for all of the times that I pissed my time away, there were more instances where I used it for something worthwhile. That after some years of stagnation, I finally stood up and inherited my destiny. That I actually LIVED.

Then I will rest peacefully.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

And so begins week 6 of a plant based diet.  I’m down an additional two pounds which makes the total loss so far 37 pounds+.  I was hoping to lose more this week but every ounce down is a step in the right direction, so I will take what I have gotten.  The last time I really seriously tried to lose weight, I shed 65 pounds in no time.  That was about 10 years ago.  It is true what they say about aging and metabolism.

More importantly than the weight loss is the way I feel.  I definitely feel healthier, have more energy and am comfortable continuing on this pace.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I’m in this for the long haul.  Mentally, I’m already there.  There was a switch that happened in my mind when I decided to go on this path and I can no longer envision myself living any other way.  There is no giving up or long term discouragement.  There is only faith in reaching the goal.  After many failures in the past, failure is no longer an option.  Sure I have and will stumble from time to time but I will pick myself up, dust myself off and proceed on.  I remain undeterred.

Yesterday I had to cut a new hole into my belt because the belts I have are now too big.  It won’t be long until I need the next size smaller pants.  These are good dilemmas.  Last night I dreamt of broccoli rabe.  This is my new normal.

Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery, teach me how to trust my heart, my mind, my intuition, my inner knowing, the senses of my body, the blessings of my spirit. Teach me to trust these things so that I may enter my Sacred Space and love beyond my fear, and thus Walk in Balance with the passing of each glorious Sun.
~ Lakota Prayer

If you are in the midst of a major lifestyle change comment below or drop me a line: johnnysized@gmail.com

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